Below is the case study for Mr Roger Torpey written by his Wife Sheila. (June 2019)

10 Nov 2020

Our journey started in July 2018, I say our journey because I have had the pleasure of staying at Windsor Court also. Roger had become unwell with a bladder infection and required hospital treatment for 3 weeks he was then transferred to a care home for rehabilitation. Before Roger’s diagnosis of Dementia he was a quiet thoughtful contented man, he wasn’t bothered about socializing or drinking alcohol but enjoyed our trips to Westbourne for a coffee and mooch around the shops, sadly the disease changed his character.

Roger and I have been together 64 years and had never been separated, we lived in Spain for 12 years, we have very happy memories of that time. We had to sell up and return to England when Roger suffered a heart attack. I think it may have been from then he started to have problems with his memory.

Dementia is such a cruel disease, with Rogers increasing needs and my poor health meant I was unable to look after Roger as well as I wanted to, in my head I thought I could. It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make and I fought tooth and nail to keep him living at home with me for as long as I could, I know the social worker was working in both mine and Rogers best interest and for some years had tried to persuade me to place Roger in a home. I was informed by social services the GP had contacted them as she was concerned for my welfare and had urged social services to encourage me to accept help.

I was determined that I would find the right home for Roger and I wasn’t going to stop until I found it, my daughter helped me. We knew what would be best for Roger, we wanted to find a home where Roger would not be out of his depth, it had to meet his character and personality. Big homes with fancy chandeliers and coffee lounges would not be for him. We looked at several 5 star rated homes and were very surprised they weren’t anything like what we had read and seen in their information. We didn’t feel welcome in some of the homes we visited, they didn’t seem want to show us around, we just knew they were not right for Roger.

When we visited Windsor Court we knew immediately from the welcome and the staff this would be the right home for Roger. My daughter and I didn’t say anything to each other but I could sense she was thinking the same as me and confirmed it with a wink and smile when we saw the bedroom on offer. It’s not overly big but it’s just right for Roger. Windsor Court has a very homely feeling, it doesn’t feel like a care home. Roger is very happy here.

My daughter and son-in –law have been very good to me and supported me through these difficult times which included them cancelling 3 holidays to be there for me and Roger, I was determined that wouldn’t happen again. But I had to spend a period of time in hospital due to a fall and subsequent fractured hip and was discharged to live with my daughter for a couple of weeks. With a holiday looming and talk of cancelling again I said I wasn’t going to have it and enquired if I could go to Windsor Court for 2 weeks, I ended up staying 3 months. I was very well looked after but I knew it was time to leave and look after myself again.

The care at Windsor Court is exemplary; I have nothing but praise for the carers and what they do. Everybody seems to want to do their best for you, help is available at any time, it just there! , I won’t have any said against them.

They keep me informed my mind is put at rest and I am reassured he is safe and well looked after. Windsor Court has been our “saving grace”, when things start to go wrong you can’t just put your head in the sand or you will find yourself not being able to see the wood for the trees.

Roger now sees Windsor Court as his home and I know where I am going when or should I need to receive full time care again. I am so grateful for what they have done for the both of us.

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